“Learning is lots of fun for me.” I generally find myself saying that when my attempts to learn have been successful; not so much though when those learning attempts result in failure.

For the last few days, just about the only thing I have done with my free time is study Hebrew. I studied almost four hours for my Hebrew exam Sunday; last night I studied for almost six; then this morning I woke up three hours before work to be prepared for my exam this evening. I passed the last exam in this class by the grace of the professor, so there was more pressure to this exam then I have felt in awhile. With the prep time I was able to put in, I figured I would have a fighting chance to survive this semester of Hebrew.

Well, the exam did not go very well at all. Most likely a passing grade will only happen if the professor gives me grace again. What does this mean? I am not sure, I will have to wait in see (there’s still six more weeks in the semester). It may mean that I step back in my degree program and take this class again in the summer…not what I had planned.

Needless to say, I left class feeling more frustrated then I had in awhile. I began to wonder with prayers such as, “God, will I ever make it through this degree? Will I end up having to drop out because I do not have the mind to be competent in Hebrew? Am I going to have to stay in Dallas longer?” By the time I sat down to read my Bible tonight, I was almost to the point of defeat thinking that I have come to the limit of my studies.

Before I began with my daily reading, I called to help from God, asking him to not let my frustrations overtake me and asking him to help me overcome my frustration with his wisdom. It just so happened that in my Bible read thru God gave me just the passage I needed, Hebrews 12. The author of Hebrews exhorts the reader to fix our focus on Jesus and follow his example of perseverance. The part that God used to correct my thinking was in v.5 when it says,

“My son, do not scorn the Lord’s discipline
or give up when he corrects you.”

God used my daily reading to remind me to keep persevering even though it seems like I am going to fail. Jesus endured suffering, knowing he would have to die for our sins, yet he did it anyway.

It reminds me also of the stories I have heard over the years of missionaries who left everything to follow God’s calling on their life only to experience hardship and defeat for several years, but God then gives them fruit in their ministry because of their perseverance.

That’s also what the author of Hebrews gets to in v.11 when he says,

“Now all discipline seems painful at the time, not joyful. But later it produces the fruit of peace and righteousness for those trained by it.”

So I’m encouraged to keep plugging away at Hebrew, even if I fail this time and the next because it seems this is what God has given me to do until he leads me to the next thing. Who knows, maybe God will use this small lesson on perseverance for something bigger later on.

So I will continue to believe:

“To God be the glory, great things He has done;
So loved He the world that He gave us His Son,
Who yielded His life an atonement for sin,
And opened the life gate that all may go in.”
–- Fanny Crosby